بسم الله ماشاء الله
Its hard for me to even starting , but alang-alang kan . I rarely and memang jarang nak express apa yang didalam hati . Those who know me they'll said I'm a heartless person . Hati kering punya minah ni buat kata Kakyati ahahahaha
It's been 8 years and yet we still don't get any child . Last miscarriage was 2018 if I'm not mistaken, tak ingat dah lahh ekkk sebab kadang malas nak ingat tapi anaknya masih eomma ingat selalu . I've never pregnant again after the miscarriage . The other party seems to only said when will we get our own children without the effort to even seek help from the expert . And now I've decided if الله planned that we will never get our children then let me live my life the fullest on my own way .
Why not let the other party married someone else? Can , I already gave the permission long time ago . I've already redha with this takdir الله dah tetapkan . All I can pray is الله easiest the path for the other party to marry someone else so that the other party will get his own child even not with me .
Why not just adopt a child ? No , the other party didn't want it . He wants his own child . So I have no word on that and just agreed with it .
So childless ? Yes . Childfree ? Yes . Maybe I'm not good enough to be a mother and will be good enough to be a beloved aunt to my anak4 buah . Maybe I'm the daughter that will take care of my parents later . Just maybe and maybe .
Just pray the best for me 🖤
